Syukur

Syukur Alhamdulillah,

all praises be to the Lord, Allah swt.

Syukur Alhamdulillah,

all praises be to Allah, the Almighty, the All-Forgiving,

He that has given so much,

yet asking none in return,

but in our faithfulness to His ibadah.

I miss Him, Allah Taala.
I long for the day to meet Him, my Creator,
if an orphan who finally found his long lost parents after 20 years can cry,
i cannot fathom the feelings of finally meeting Him, the Creator of everything.

If a child who lost his parents in a supermarket for two hours can feel so much fear,
that was how i felt, before He found me, in this maze of life.

Syukur,
Syukur alhamdulillah, He has brought me here in His path,

all praises be to Him, to His Final Messenger, Rasulullah saw,
all praises be to His angels, His Prophets,
and to those He has promised heaven.

I long for the day to meet Him,
and He'll say 'Salamun!'
just like in Yasin, verse 58, " Salamun! Qawlam-mir rabbir rahim!"
"Peace on you! will be the word form the most-merciful Lord"
to finally meet Him,

till then,

I shall sing my praises to Him,
I shall sing praises in His name,
till my tears dry,
till the morning sun rises,

till then,

Syukur, syukur alhamdulillah.

Hijau Si Buta

Si Buta,

tak pernah lihat,

tak pernah nampak,

tak pernah celik,

segala yang dunia tawarkan,

semua yang sudah manusia tengok,

yang biru itu langit,

yang hijau itu rumput,

yang jernih itu air,

dan yang berwarna-warni itu benda.

Si Buta,

dikasihani?

kekurangan?

dan buta itu menyusahkan?

tetapi si Buta tak pernah melihat apa yang diharamkan,

buta itu perisai kepada godaan nafsu dan syaitan,

dan kerana itu hatinya terpelihara,

dan kerana itu hatinya lebih celik,

mungkin,

biru si buta itu ketenangan,

warna-warni si buta itu kegembiraan,

jernih si buta itu kesucian,

dan hijau si buta itu paling berharga daripada emas,

kerana dia si buta yang megetahui, hijau itu pakaian syurga,

dan biru kita biru langit,

hijau kita hijau rumput,

warna-warni kita benda yang mewah,

siapakah yang lagi beruntung,

jika bukan si buta yang mengenali hijau,

dan dia berjalan ke arah itu.

Ini jalan berduri

Penantian itu suatu penyeksaan,

Penantian terhadap sesuatu yang sungguh rapuh menambah pilu,

senyap dalam penantian jawapan dipenuhi seribu kata tanpa disedari,

dan diri ini, takkan bisa mendapat apa yang sempurna dalam jalanNya.

Ini jalan berduri,

Ini jalan menyimpan seribu keraguan,

Ini jalan yang meminta sejuta pengorbanan,

dan langkah pertama yang membuka dunia baru,

hanya satu permulaan.

Jauhnya keberanian, bila duri-duri mula mencucuk,

indahnya kesakitan, melihat apa yang dijanjikanNya.

Murahnya air mata, bila jejak langkah sudah bermula,

Pedang-pedang menusuk daging,

tak terbanding dengan tusukan jiwa oleh kuasaNya.

Ini jalan berduri, namun tersimpan mawar-mawar mekar indah,

Ini jalan seribu keraguan, namun menanti satu janji indah,

Ini jalan sejuta pengorbanan, namun Dia yang menanti, mencukupkan segala.

Sakitnya, bila duri-duri yang dulu dipandang dari jauh sudah mula menusuk,

dan hanya dalam sabar dan tawakal,

langkah perlahan ini mampu diteruskan.

The dream

Dreams. How many times in my life, have dreams showed something significant?
I had a dream last night. A dream of war.
Not just any war.


but the war in Afghanistan...

I dreamed i was there, a witness to the horror and fear surrounding the land that every breath was infused with them.

Most vividly, i dreamed of the children...



I witnessed the enemy collected and gathered all the young children, in a space, a muddy field, barren land...

and they were murdered. Mass annihilation of the children in Afghanistan.

I witnessed horror that befell them.
....their hands and legs were chopped off... while still alive,
and were left to bleed to death.

I saw a father,
....unwilling to let go of his child,
and then the enemies came,
and chopped of the child's body, while the father was still clinging on to him,

and all was left, was the father, holding his child's head, crying in grief.



In the dream, I was, unprepared to witness the horror.
I managed to escape to somewhere safe, back to the ship that brought all of us (a group of journalists) there.

The fear felt so real.
That in my heart i said, "Allah, i was unprepared". "We will all die here".

I wrote in a book, what i saw. I remembered thinking, the whole world needs to know what is happening here. And it will be my duty to see through that this piece of writing reaches them.

And then i asked a man in the ship,
"If we die here, is it 'mati syahid'?"
He said yes.

and syahid is the best death that Allah swt can give to His servant.
In that dream, i accepted the fate.
To Allah i said, "I am ready. To die in your service."

and i woke up.

All these while, how i've been ignorant... How i've looked at the pictures of people, my fellow Islam brothers and sisters got killed to protect their land, their religion. To protect Allah swt's dignity. How i feel helpless, clueless in helping them.

And now,
i've been given a glimpse of how, if i were to fulfill my duty.. i should have been there. To fight
with them.

And give my life in the name of Allah swt.

How many of us, are willing to let go of everything else, and go to war against the enemies of Islam, and give our life in His name?

It is difficult.

yet right now, even if it is just a dream...
in another part of this earth,

another fellow brother and sister is being tortured and killed in the hands of the enemies...

Forgive me, Allah.

family

in my deepest desire,
more than anything else,
i want to have this....





a Muslim family....

to guide me in Islam,
to teach me to read His surahs,
to tell me stories of Hadith, stories of the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh),




parents who will tell me never to forget my solat,

parents who will say they will offer doa for me,

parents who will tell me in times of trouble "Seek for Allah, He will guide us",


more than anything else,
just like any other Muslim friends who have it,

yet,

no matter how hard i wish for,
this is something i'll never have.

engkau. tanah

engkau tanah yang terbiar?

menjadi padang perebutan tangan ke tangan.

engkau perjuangan yang dilupakan?

menjadi perigi menadah darah insani syahid,

menjadi sasaran tusukan pedang berdendam,

dan hanya mereka yang kehilangan, mengerti nilaimu.

engkau tanah yang dimiliki?

mereka merampas bersenjatakan kejam,

dan mereka-mereka yang menangisi engkau

yang sedikit demi sedikit hilang dari genggaman,

dimanakah kebebasan dalammu?

dimanakah perginya segala yang melakar sejarahmu sejak azali?

dimanakah hilangnya mereka yang berjanji mempertahankanmu?

dan dimanakah mereka yang seharusnya berjuang untuk saudara-saudara mereka?

dan engkau jatuh kerana mereka yang terlupa,

dan engkau terus menakung darah-darah dan air mata insani lemah,

dan di atasmu, pedang kekejaman masih berkilau megah,

bilakah kau kan berdiri kembali,

bersama kegemilanganNya yang menciptamu?

bersama umatnya yang beriman?

atau kau kan terus jatuh.

kerana kini iman hanya suatu permainan.

(inspired from Palestine's plight)

Yang ku-cari

Yang kucari,

bukanlah harta sejuta peti,

bukanlah kaya seumur hidup,

dan bukanlah emas sepenuh bilik.

Yang kuidamkan,

bukanlah wajah secantik bunga,

bukanlah tubuh seindah mekar,

bukanlah baju semahal sutera,

dan bukanlah teman yang dilihat pada rupa.

Yang kuimpikan,

bukanlah rumah sebesar istana,

bilik-bilik semewah bangsawan,

kereta-kereta sederet menunggu,

mahupun makan minum setanding raja-raja.

sesungguhnya,

dalam jiwa dan hati yang kerap dihasut cemburu,

nafsu dan termakan pujian syaitan,

lebih daripada segalanya,

yang kuinginkan,

hanya keredhaanMu,

air mata yang jatuh keranaMu,

hati yang selalu mengingatiMu,

jiwa yang bersyukur keranaMu,

suara yang selalu memuji namaMu, ayat-ayatMu,

sepasang mata yang dapat melihat kekuasaanMu,

lutut,tubuh,dan dahi yang tak henti-henti bersujud keranaMu.

dan segala yang lain telah dan akan dicukupkanMu.

Inilah yang kucari.yang kuingin.dan yang kuimpikan.