Which was my first step towards Islam?
the beginning of curiosity. I've asked many, many questions about existence, meaning of life, why the differences in all of us, our religions.
What brought me deeper into Islam?
the first of many nights i've spent reading the translated version of Quran. Even when i was disappointed by life, crushed down by the weight of society, i continued reading, for the words brought me PEACE.
Its PERFECTION. Everything falls into place. The history of mankind, its many religions, the 4 kitabs. Reasons behind every actions. Meanings behind the devotion to Allah Taala.
Were you 100% sure when you chose to say the Syahadah?
No. Although I am 100% convinced Allah S.W.T is the truth. I'm not 100% sure that it' was the right time,if i will have the support that i needed. I believe it was FAITH in ALLAH that has guided me. Although I am not sure it's the right decision at that time, I let my faith in Allah to help and show me the way. I submitted myself, my everything to Allah Taala, and I recited the Syahadah.
What happened next?
it wasn't as i've expected. I embraced Islam with zero knowledge of Fardhu Ain. You can ask me things said in the Quran, but I do not know how to Zahir them. I felt empty and helpless. I felt unsure. But again, it was my faith in Allah, the One, which brought me through.
My friend introduced me to Fardhu Ain, the 5 Pillars of Islam, and the 6 Pillars of Iman. I was guided throughout my learning to solat.
How did you learned to perform the solat?
Books and videos and observations. I quietly observed my friends perform their prayers and try them myself. I memorized the readings slowly. It took me 1 month to know them all by heart.
I started with performing the Zohor prayer daily, then, by the end of the month, I'm already performing the 5 daily prayers.
What did you feel when you performed your first solat?
Alhamdulillah, and syukur. I don't remember if there were tears, but I remember the feeling of relief and satisfaction. As if the whole of my body has finally learned what it's supposed to do. I remember how i loved performing the prayers, but kept getting myself frustrated because I kept making mistakes that I have to repeat the solat again.
Back then, I figured the more practise i can get, the better i'll be. So i'll find any chance i have to perform solat, be it solat sunat rawatib, sunat tahajud or just sunat mutlak.
I love the feeling of sitting on the prayer mat, facing the kiblah, and knowing Allah Taala is accepting you as His servant.
....to be continued